#TBT Case of the Mondays

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A TBT TO THE BLOG POST I WROTE A FEW WEEKS AGO AND FORGOT TO POST. ENJOY!

Recently I have been suffering from a combination of full time work exhaustion, writers block, and not giving an eff, so I apologize for losing track of this blog. I have spent a considerable amount of time preparing a post about the human condition, but its kind of overwhelming and I have so much to say, so I have decided to put that on the back burner for now. Instead, I have spent approximately an hour surfing the internet for inspiration and tips on overcoming writer’s block. Most of the cute (and seemingly put together) bloggers I have come across suggest sharing a favorite recipe, prep tips for job interviews, or my personal favorite; sharing your workout routine. I think its safe to say that this advice falls on deaf ears considering I am a hurricane in the kitchen, I sweat profusely in job interviews, and I was winded after the first half of the warm-up in Sean T’s workout video earlier this afternoon. I also found myself super distracted by all of the suggestions for popular posts that I have never heard of – I mean, is anyone really interested about what’s in my purse? If you are, I don’t carry a purse, so the jokes on you… Instead, I usually just carry a wallet and then leave it behind in stores and coffee shops and have to order a new drivers license every 3 months. I am a mess. Speaking of, today I had a real case of the Mondays, and instead of offering guidance or inspiration, I will share my daily failures in hopes that you will realize just how put together you truly are.

I spent the weekend away with friends, wedding dress shopping (not for myself) and sight seeing in the Baltimore/D.C. area. Oh hey, that is something I could write about. More later. Anyways, after a weekend of exploring, drinking, and eating, I was exhausted. My day began when my alarm jolted me out of a deep sleep, and I literally could not tell if I was dead or alive. Fast forward 30 minutes and I step into the shower… with my socks on. I somehow manage to round out my morning routine without burning the house down or drowning in the toilet, and head straight for Dunkin Donuts, hoping that a little caffeine will remedy my case of the Mondays. I wait in the lengthy line, despite the fact that I am running late for my first client appointment. FYI, us Mainers really like our Dunkin, so a little pro tip for any tourists, don’t visit a DD between the hours of 6 and 10 am if you want to maintain your limbs or your sanity. Finally, it is my turn and I pull up to the window and pay the nice lady for my coffee. I promptly blackout and drive away. It is not until I am a good 5 minutes down the road before I realize that I plowed through the drive-thru and left without my coffee. I whip a u-turn and run into the store with my receipt. The clerk hands me my coffee and says “I went ahead and put a turbo shot in there for you… Happy Monday.” I blush, accept the coffee, and press on. The rest of my workday goes as normal, filled with housing crisis’, arrests, and mental breakdowns among client’s. Their stories remind me that my case of my Monday’s is actually not that bad. Though the caffeine has worn off, or never really set in, I am 5 minutes from my gym so I force myself to go. I walk in the door and realize that I have everything but my sneakers. I grab a tootsie roll (or 4, but whose counting) and head home, swearing under my breath. I make a vow to myself and to the Gods that I will do a workout video. I get all set up and start on “Hip Hop Abs,” which makes me feel like an idiot, but 10 minutes into the warm-up, my breathing is like that of a 300 lb woman running a marathon. I look over at my dog who is judging the sh** out of me and power through 20 minutes before crawling up on my couch for a nap. Upon waking up, I write this blog so I guess something good has come out of the day? …. No comments please.

The moral of this story is that Sean T is a slave driver and should do jail time for inflicting cruel and unusual punishment on the basic bitches he appeals to.