Advocare With Emily ... Kind of.
Is it just me, or are we a little quick to jump into the new year without taking time to reflect on our personal and collective journey through the past 365 days? While for many 2016 is a year we wish we could block from our memory, let us all take a few minutes to contemplate what went wrong, what went right, and what we want to do differently in the coming year.
In 2016 I cleaned out my closet, and then quickly re-cluttered it. In 2016 I rescued a puppy and then used him as an excuse to avoid uncomfortable social gatherings. In 2016 I strengthened meaningful relationships with loved ones, carbohydrates, and assorted cheese plates. In 2016 I set goals and failed terribly at meeting them, but in 2017 I will try again.
Over the years I have tried various cleanses and fitness routines with friends that are equally if not more motivated by chocolate and pasta as I am. Needless to say, these attempts at improved physical fitness all ended early with butterfingers, dinner rolls, and tears of joy. And now, here I am with a mom body and an upcoming beach retreat looming over my head. SO, after some persuasion, and a great discounted rate (shout out to my dear friend Miranda), I am all –in for the Advocare 24 day challenge.
Disclaimer: This is not a health blog. If you are seeking pro-tips or even motivation, please do yourself a favor and visit another page. For those of you that don’t know me personally, I am the first girl to crack a Crossfit joke, and the last one to cross the finish-line at any athletic event, so this will likely be dreadful. In an effort to meet two of my goals for 2017 (blogging and shedding lb’s) I will blog about my Advocare experience, at least for as long as it lasts.
Prep:
As someone that never creates a grocery list before shopping, meal planning and prepping gave me a bit of a headache. With support from my (a-type) boyfriend, I persevered and stayed on task. I will say that I will continue to incorporate a grocery list into my “new year, new me” regiment, regardless of how long I last on the Advocare plan.
Day 1:
I wake up excited for a fresh start. I go to the kitchen and serve up the first item on my meal plan; fiber drink. Whoever said that food prep was the hardest part, has not tried this viscous and utterly foul concoction. I went with unflavored fiber mix and managed to choke down half of the recommended amount before dry heaving in the sink. I immediately reach for a Gatorade bottle left on the counter in an effort to chase the fiber like a shot of vodka. I then sigh and stop myself because what kind of cleanse would this be if I was allowed to drink Gatorade? I pour the remaining contents of the fiber drink down the sink and promise to myself to do better tomorrow. Don’t worry, I captured some of my story on Snapchat.
I ate some fruit here and there and moved on to the next phase by drinking a full glass of "spark.” The function of these supplements is unclear to me at this point because I failed to do my research (shocker), but the spark mixture was actually tasty in contrast to the fiber I consumed earlier in the day. For lunch I ate a spinach salad with chicken and quinoa, which is normally an enjoyable meal for me … But due to the mere fact that I am dieting, I was unenthused. I took the next round of supplements which is called Omega something or other. They come in capsule form so no complaints here. Mid-afternoon I started to feel hangry so I crunched on the suggested afternoon snack, a rice cake topped with all natural peanut butter. All-natural peanut butter is on par with the aforementioned fiber drink. I mean, what is the point??!?!? I tried to pawn off my rice cake snack on my dog Jeffrey, who refused my offering. What a jerk. Defeated, I turned on a depressing documentary on Netflix. Turns out, themes of structural racism and the sheer depravity of our criminal justice system was just enough to distract me from my growling stomach until dinner time. I ended the day with a brief fitness test, which was an utter shit show. Thank God The Bachelor premieres tonight.